World Triathlon

American author John Green said, “You can love someone so much…but you can never love people as much as you can miss them.”

Nothing is more apt than with the sudden passing of young Australian age-group triathlete Freyja Lee (from Brisbane, Queensland) in 2019 that left her friends and family confused, desperately upset and missing her dearly.

Freyja loved triathlon and although only 21 years old, she had accomplished so much, completing many long distance triathlons. Freyja was so committed to swim, ride, run that she was even able to convince her boyfriend James Bailey to get involved, with the iconic Mooloolaba Triathlon eventually becoming a very special event for them as a couple, racing it together in 2018 and 2019.

This year at the Mooloolaba Triathlon, on 15 March, Freyja’s best friends, triathletes and non triathletes alike, will rally together and line up on the start line in honour of their beloved friend.

“I guess having everyone racing there this year was my suggestion,” James said. “It gained a bit of momentum and everyone seemed keen and we now have close to 30 people racing. Not everyone doing it are triathletes but they are doing it in her memory. No one else had shown interest in triathlon before her passing but when the idea came up everyone jumped on board and got around it.”

“There are three or four of us doing the Olympic distance, about six are doing the teams and the rest are doing the sprint which was really good. Mooloolaba is such a great place and one of Freyja’s favourite races. Mooloolaba is a race we both really enjoyed and last year we stayed together and made a weekend out of it, eating out and celebrating after the race because we had both done really good times,” he said.

The couple met at work while Freyja was about to do her first long distance triathlon.

“I was pretty perplexed that there was an event that long. Triathlon is a sport that requires you to be very head strong which suited her a lot. She was a very determined person, didn’t take no for an answer, and loved the challenge and the endurance aspect of the sport. I had done quite a bit of swimming and a bit of running through high school and I knew what triathlon was, but I hadn’t really looked into it, until we met. But triathlon was a big reason that we started to see each other,” he said.

Together they enjoyed the racing and each other’s company but James’ world, and that of the couple’s friends and family, was changed forever late last year with one frantic phone call phone.

“Freyja had a been struggling a little bit for a while with a few things that a lot of people would be going through at that age. I guess it all just became too much for her and I got a call from one of her friends to come over urgently. She didn’t say much on the phone other than to urgently come to her house and bring something to break down the door.”

“I raced over and found her unconscious on the bed and the ambulance came and took her to the emergency ward at the hospital. They were fantastic and seeing what the nurses and the doctors have to do and what they see in their job is pretty full on. It really opened my eyes to how tough that profession is.”

Distraught and in shock at the news, Freyja’s friends gathered around immediately to support their friend and each other.

“One of the comments from the staff was that they had never seen someone in hospital have so many people visit. She was loved by so many people. One night we had 20 people there sitting around talking in the trauma room. It is very hard to understand that someone with so many people that loved and adored her, could feel that they weren’t loved and adored. It is hard to fathom.”

Freyja passed away two days later, leaving James, and family and friends, bewildered and struggling to understand what had happened.

“It was and still is very hard to comprehend,” he said. “I have a lot of really bad days but you see videos and read about suicide and see it on the news but until it becomes your reality and until it happens to someone close to you, it doesn’t really hit home. Then it just punches you in the face, this permanent feeling of loss and a permanent hole in your heart ad this permanent emptiness. When you go from seeing someone every day, to them just not being there, it is very hard.”

When Freyja’s friends gather at the Mooloolaba Triathlon it will be the opportunity to remember to their friend by doing something she loved and a chance to remind the community to look out for each other.

“We have some shirts that I made that people will wear during the ride and the run. They are white and have a symbol of everything that Freya loved on the front and a little message on the back saying, “In loving memory of our friend Freyja who we lost to suicide’.”

“For me it is all the unanswered questions that I want to ask and all the things you think you could have done but you never get to find out. We should always be checking in on people and making sure they are alright and always think that the person you are talking to might be going through more than what you can actually see,” James said.

Freyja’s friends have raised almost $12,000 for mental health non-profit organisation Beyond Blue who provides information and support to help everyone in Australia achieve their best possible mental health, whatever their age and wherever they live.